5 Ways to Overcome your Hurricane Irene Disappointment

1. Plug your sinks, bathtubs, and other water sources, and run all faucets until the water is up to your knees. Or until it causes the floor of your apartment to collapse into the one below yours.

2. Turn off all your electronics and lights. Let your cell phone die. That way you can stop tweeting and Facebooking about the over hype and disappointment.

3. Buy 12 diesel fans and set them up in front of your outdoor furniture.

4. Buy a saw and cut down a tree so it lands directly on top of something valuable to you.

5. Trade places with anyone in Long Island, Hoboken, or the Jersey Shore.