Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I am Sam...Sam I am...I am a writer...A writer I am

When I was four years old, I limped on a sprained ankle to a microphone, at my pre-school graduation, and announced to every classmate, parent, grandparent, and stranger in the room that I wanted to be the first female president of the United States.

When I was seven years old, I walked up to my second grade teacher and told her I wanted to be just like her: a caring, considerate, wonderful, top-of-the-line second grade teacher.

When I was thirteen years old, I told my parents that I was going to be on the U.S. National Softball team, and that I would play in the 2012 Olympics. ---Even if I was on the U.S. National Softball team, I wouldn't be playing in the 2012 Olympics because it's no longer an Olympic Sport--just wasn't in my cards.
When I was seventeen years old, I told the college admissions counselors in a number of applications that I wanted to be a sports journalist and Major League Baseball commentator.

And now, at twenty-two years old: I am not the first female president of the country (though I guess there is still time for that--and a chance if Palin were my contender in twenty years), I am not on the path to be a second grade teacher, I haven't touched a softball in three years, and I am certainly not commentating for ESPN or Major League Baseball.


I am a writer.

A few weeks ago, at a Superbowl party that my friend was asked to play the half-time show at, I met several creative minds. We introduced ourselves, we shook hands, and we gave the run-down on our creative niche.

"I am a singer," the one told me.

"I am trying to be an actress."

"No," I said.

"Excuse me?"

"You aren't TRYING to be an ARE an actress."

It is only recently that I have discovered that the more we TRY to be something, the less we become that. The more I TRY to be a writer...the less of a writer I am...the less motivation I have...the less I produce...and the less I am heard.

I am not trying to be a writer.

I live in New York City, sleep in an artist loft, and produce new material every day.

I am not trying to be a writer.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I AM a writer.

Now...who is hiring?!


  1. Very true. Too often (if not always) who we are is based on how we make an income. Although money pays the bills and allows us pleasures that being broke does not, money should not determine who we are. You are a writer and I'm proud of you. By the way, I am a teacher... and I have been blessed to be able to earn a living doing what I enjoy. Keep plugging away!

  2. Oh my gosh. Love this so so much. I wanted to go to the olympics when I was in 7th grade, too. Didn't happen, but we sure like to dream.

    And I think I had this conversation with my mom over the summer. I said I wasn't a writer. But we're writers if we say we are. Maybe it's a writer thing? We think we're not writers until we have this big job that says "I am a writer. Read what I write." Nope. If I never have a big fancy job, my life will be A-okay.

  3. You are wonderful. Great, true post. We attract goodness into our life by knowing that it's already available to us. I am a writer too. Glad I found your blog today.

  4. Brilliant post :) I fall into the trap of saying "I'm trying to be a writer" too - but you're absolutely right, we're not TRYING, we're DOING and BEING, and that's a far healthier way of looking at it :)

  5. Cha cha. Every now and again I get a check from a publisher. I still get a childish glee.

    Borderline ass about it . . . sometimes. Jump up and down when I get a box with a book with my name in/on it? Yes, in an absolute asshole way.

    And . . . in my college admissions I said I wanted to be a doctor. I was even pre-med. Well, I'm a doctor . . . just not that kind. Funny how things work out.