1,296,000 Seconds to Love...to Live...to Travel

“You are traveling alone?”

“Excuse me?”

“You are alone?”

Physically…yes…This man, that I have just met, is right. I am traveling alone.

That was DAY 12 of my travels.

Fast forward to now:

Over 1,296,000 seconds later.

Fast forward to now:

Over 1,000 photos later.

Fast forward to now:

Over 30 hours of train riding later.

Fast forward to now:

Over 15 cappuccino later.

Fast forward to now:

9 cities later:

Fast forward to now:

1 trip later.

Physically, I may have been on my own, but 1 trip later, I have found that I had truly the best travel companions at my side: My thoughts.

Like people, they fought with me, proved indecisive, had trouble making decisions, offered me both simple and complex conversation, and most of all, like people, they kept me company.

They gave me questions, they tested my patience, they sat with me, they listened, and they let me talk. When I got lost, they reassured me that I’d find my way back. And when it was between spending money and saving it, they reminded me that I only live once.

They were my best friends for fifteen days.

Sure, for most of the night, I had company in whoever’s house I had couch surfed at, but for the most part, it was just me and my thoughts--my thoughts and me--mano i mano--and it was the least lonely I have been in a while…it was the best company I could have asked for. For that time—it was the only company I needed. It was the best 1,296,000 seconds with my thoughts I could have ever wanted.

Libs and emotions sitting in a tree -- M-I-S-S-I-N-G

"If you ever said you missed me, then don't say you never lied."--Brand New

There are certain words, that when placed together, take on an incredible strength in meaning--and incredible strength in disappointment if said at false moments. "I love you" can often be thrown around, said too early in a relationship, or not said enough. It can turn a beginning relationship into a real relationship. It can be the last words someone says to a loved one before they pass. And it can be the final words someone says to someone before they let them go from their life due to personal decisions. Everyone analyzes these three words "I Love You." But there is one word that you can replace "love" with to create a phrase that becomes just as or even more strong than the first combination of eight letters.

"Miss."

I miss you.

I am not sure I knew the meaning of missing something or someone until only recently. I realized this week that "I miss you" is painfully thrown around similar to the way "I love you" can often times be thrown around.

A night before I left for Italy, a good friend of mine told me that she wouldn't miss me two weeks into my voyage to Italy. She said she probably wouldn't miss me one month into my trip either. I didn't understand, and I was actually extremely saddened by her remarks. That was until Christmas day, when I realized what she meant. Missing someone is a physical feeling--almost like an illness--something that eats at your stomach and your heart and your mind. It is not solely a mental condition--no missing someone is a real emotion, driven by moments that cause us to remember some time, with some person (or on our own) that we really wish we could have at a certain and specific time.

I painfully missed having my family for Christmas. Some days, as of recently, I painfully miss having my friends from New York City and from Pennsylvania to just call on a bad day or sit with and enjoy the silence. When I miss something, as I have learned, I PAINFULLY miss it. It's really simple to get in touch with someone and say "I miss you," because it feels like the right thing to say, but it not always is. "I miss you," like "I love you" could move mountains. It means things are difficult without you here...It means there is a void that I wish you could fill back up.

Missing people is a feeling that you have when there is something you want to share with

someone, so badly, but who most likely is still asleep due to a time difference. Missing someone is wishing they were online to drop a quickly hello to. Missing someone is in the moments that you are walking around and you just wish you could sit down with that person and share a cup of coffee, a window to people watch through, and a fantastically epic long conversation. Missing someone is in moments that you truly feel an emptiness within you. Missing someone or something can actually be debilitating.

To say "I miss you" could have such a strong meaning that it could very well combust the world. When said without truly meaning it, it could actually become more painful to a person than the actual feeling of missing something. To say "I miss you" is to let someone know there is an empty void without that person--that a part of you is incomplete, a part of you is actually...missing.