Paying Tribute to Best Friend Appreciation Day

I'm not sure that Best Friend Appreciation Day actually exists, and it would only take a moment to Google it, but I declare today, April 17, to be my Best Friend Appreciation Day--the day I take the moment to recognize how a stranger--or a group of strangers became an acquaintance or a group of acquaintances--and then became a friend or a group of friends--and then my wonderful, beautiful best friend---or again--group of best friends--never to be traded, never to be altered, never to be lost.

Sometimes, as you watch someone walk away, all you can do is smile, knowing that a piece of your life has been made better by one simple second with that person, or by one simple conversation, or by one simple moment where you took the time--and that person took the time to say "Hey, let's take one time to just sit down, talk, discover, and learn from each other." Sometimes your life is simply made better by a friend that you never -- ever imagined having come into your life--that you never could have predicted would step into your world -- that you never would have guessed would go from someone you once said hello to in passing to someone you hoped you'd never have to say goodbye to.

The last time I said goodbye to my best friends, I was boarding an airplane to another country, just a few short days--and/or hours later. Their smiles were for the happiness that awaited me on the landing pad of my near future destination. Their goodbyes were filled with "You will have such a great time, you will be so happy--you will see so much." It reminds me of how we should always say goodbye to someone we love--or--see you later to someone who has entered our life for a short period of time--or long period of time, with a smile on our face even if we are sad in our hearts, because the truth is that person will be leaving for a new journey, a new future, a new world, with a smile on their face and hope in their heart.

I am so lucky to have had the best friends in the entire world to know how to say goodbye the right way, to know how to love people and their decisions, to know how to understand different worlds are for different people, to know that saying goodbye to people is seriously just "Be happy, and enjoy it...we'll still be here--forever, and always." The best friends that you make always will be the best teachers that you have.

My best friends have taught me a lot of things like how to:

Enjoy the moment--See the world--Follow my dreams--Live passionately--Understand others--Find happiness--Be independent--Live on the edge--Follow through with promises--Listen well--Speak well--Take time to relax--Take time to have fun--Make the best out of a bad situation--and how to Love.

When I was a freshman in college, I sent my best friends hand made Valentine's Day cards that stated what a best friend was--to me. Before I left for Italy, just under six months ago, one of my best friends sent that back to me. She wouldn't know it, maybe not 'til now at least, but it meant the world. In Moulin Rouge, they state that the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. I have come to a firm standing that one of the other most greatest things in the world to learn--and discover, is how to be a best friend--and how to have a best friend--how to love that best friend--and how to be loved by that best friend. One of the most wonderful feelings in the world is knowing that the people you care most about--also care most about you. And those people won't ever change, even if miles change, even if locations change, even if lifestyles change.

My childhood best friend, and I still speak, still laugh, and still love each other. I will never stop loving her the way I loved her when we had our sleepovers, built forts in the woods, or made up really bad dances to the Spice Girls or 'N Sync. If she was the best at one time--she will always be one of the best to me, now and in the future--no matter the circumstance.

A lot of people may say you can only have one best friend. I don't think that's true. Many people are lucky to come across a handful of people that they can call a friend. I consider myself lucky to have come across what I consider to be handfulS (note the S) of best friends--people that I will always go to, that I will always trust, that I will always LOVE.

These are the people that I will always have an appreciation for--every day--even if there's never a day declared for it.

If fate isn't completely in your hands--then who is adjusting it for you?

“A bunch of people got out of the car and just ran up to his car and shot it up. I was supposed to be in that car, but my brother made me go with him instead.”

Tears flooded my eyes as Anthony Mackie described a time in his life when someone else altered his destiny—when someone else adjusted what could have been his plan…when someone else saved his life. Mackie, who plays Harry, one of the main characters in the soon-to-be-released Adjustment Bureau starring Matt Damon, attended the free pre-screening last night at the Lincoln Center, and stayed after to do a Q and A that really made me think…what is fate? Who controls it? And who altars us on a consistent basis?

The film, which focuses on the idea that there is a team of people hiding in our closets, sitting across tables at the library from us, and in cooking in the kitchens of restaurants readjusting our plans each day, putting us back on track, and making sure that chance doesn’t throw the world completely out of wack, that one person doesn’t send the world into an endless black hole. In the movie, the team appears to be the people who control who you are supposed to meet, when you will die, and what your future career will be.

But Mackie was asked an interesting question following the film.

“Who is your adjustment bureau?”

That’s when Mackie told his heartbreaking story—the one that gave his answer—“My brother.”

His story is similar to another one I know of. A story where I should have been in a car that got into a pretty awful accident when I was a junior in high school. The day after my junior prom I was supposed to ride in the car to an amusement park with a friend. We were going to be late to meet our friends because we had been stuck taking the SAT’s while they were going on every rollercoaster in the park. I decided that my motion sickness issue wasn’t going to magically go away that day and told my friend to go onto the park without me. That night, he got into a bad car accident where his car spun off the highway. He was okay, but his car wasn’t. Who knows what would have happened had I been in one of the passenger seats.

And that’s when my mind really started going.

I began thinking about all the times my life could have gone another way—all the times I could have made one decision, but, instead, made another. I started thinking about the people that matter. I started thinking about what my life has become and who has adjusted it—who has made it what it is.

I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. In fact, I am a strong believer that there isn’t a team of people hiding in our closets, our libraries, our kitchens with a book that has a written plan in it. I believe that we often make decisions that create an illusion that something did indeed happen for a reason.

But I do believe that there are people that matter—that mean something—that say things—that treat us in a certain way—that adjust our lives to occur in a certain pattern—in a certain line—in a certain arc like that of a character in a movie or a book.

For me, those people are my family and my friends...all the people who have had a positive effect on me—all the people who have shown me a road to take that I may not have taken otherwise—all the people who showed me that going to Italy meant a great deal—and that coming home meant even more. All those people who reminded me that going through hard times has to happen to recognize good times. My adjustment bureau is in all those people who have ever lended me a hand—or their heart.

Who is your adjustment bureau?